I Say, She Says

So, after an awful lot of deliberation and that fact that Natalie texted me again later on last night, I have discovered that 'tb' is not in fact a misspelling of 'to' or even a reference to tuberculosis. It does, in fact, mean 'text back'. I think.

So I texted her back and I was in Sunderland today looking for David's birthday present and just on my way to the Metro to go to Newcastle when she texts me again asking me what I'm doing. I tell her, she texts back saying she's in Newcastle going for a job interview. Great, I say. You fancy meeting? She says she's with a friend. I say fine, I don't want to get in the way of anything. She says no, I'd love to meet you. She thens tells me where she is and that she's going for something to eat. I text back asking her if she does want to meet up then. And I don't here anything back. I wander round Newcastle for about half an hour and she still hasn't texted back. So I go for the bus. Now, I go for a bus which doesn't take me home. It'll take me to Chester, where I can get a bus home, but it's a lot easier than walking all the way up Northumberland Street to the new bus station for the bus that would take me home. And because of where Natalie lives, she gets that bus home to. Exact same bus. And it's one of those frequent services that run every five minutes so it's a pretty big coincidence.

However. (There's always an however in my life.) However, I see her before her and her mate get to the bus stop. Doubtless she sees me as well. And she doesn't come to stand in the queue. She doesn't even wave hello or anything. Her mate does, but then her mate is a loud mouthed gobby loon. And when the bus comes and we get on it, she walks straight past me without even making eye contact. Then they both get off at Gateshead. I then spend the rest of the journey home and the majority of the afternoon thinking I should send her a text with the general gist of 'what the fuck was that?'. I don't however. And this eveing I get another text from her saying she's been feeling a bit down today because her gran has just died. I text back saying okay, and that I'm at work tomorrow so if she needs to talk that she knows where I am.

I hope I do see her tomorrow. Because until I speak to her, face to face, I just won't be able to shake the suspicion that there's something not right about the whole thing. I don't know. I know Terileigh wouldn't do anything nasty to me, like giving me someone else's number or something. But at the same time there's this queasy uneasiness about the whole thing that I can't shake.

I don't know. Maybe she just doesn't want her relationship with me to be so out in the open, especially not in such early days. Maybe I'm just being blindly optimistic here. Maybe she's shy. She doesn't seem the type, but I don't know, maybe she really does like me a lot and doesn't want to fuck it up. Ah, there's the return of the blind optimism, yeah? I'm trying to avoid the theories that it's all a big joke that's being played on me, or that she thought it was a good idea to give Terileigh my number on Saturday night and changed her mind. Jesus H Christ. All Hail Marky, for he is the Master of Paranoia. This is why I'm so depressed all the time you know, because I always look for the bad shit in everything.

Peace out.