We Have A Lot To Talk About
Yes. We do, for once. I've been avoiding you all, truth to tell.
You see, there was this girl. Yes. A girl. It always comes back down to that, doesn't it. I mentioned that lass from Match who I was having a date with way back in September. Well, the date (we went to Boldon pictures, had a few drinks - well, I did, she was driving and then went to see The Dark Knight, even better the third time round) went extremely well. Halfway through the film, I rested a hand on her leg, she looked at me and smiled. A little later I kissed her. We kissed when we came out of the pictures. She drove me home. came in for a coffee. We kissed some more. I told her my mother was in bed and sort of invited myself round to hers there and then. We went. We had much fun. We spent the next day in bed together with a brief outing to her mother's house to pick up some stuff and had an hour at the beach. She brings me home that evening. I ask her to be my girlfriend (well, in fact, I tell her there's a question I want to ask her but I don't know how to ask it without sounding like a five year old in the playground, she tells me to ask it anyway, I do) and she says yes.
So the next five weeks are blissful. Seriously. I can't remember ever being that happy. We spend loads of time together, watch our favourite movies, have lots of sex and generally have a good time. Florence goes down Terry's for a week so I invite her over for a night, we go to the pub for a meal and sleep together in my mother's bed, which was mega weird, but my bed's only a single. She comes to the quiz, meets all my friends, everyone gets on amazingly well.
So. What goes wrong?
Well, you can imagine that I'd find some way to fuck it up and maybe I do, maybe I don't. You see, I do tell her that I love her, but she doesn't have an immediate reaction to it as Alison did. We even talk about it a little about it. But just over a week later, she still dumps me. She likes me, yes, she says, just not in the right way. She then goes on to say that maybe she hasn't had enough time to get over her last relationship.
Fuck.
She said she still wanted to be friends with me, but that she'd leave it up to me. As the dumpee I apparently have the right to choose the course of our subsequent relationship. So we've been out for a few drinks in Sunderland, tres awkward and I've tried to arrange a couple of outings with her but we've had clashing things. I would have been out with her last Saturday, but at the last minute Emma decided to change her birthday hootenanny from Friday to Saturday and Debra wasn't available on Friday.So I tried to sort something out for yesterday, but she had a family thing apparently. So I'm really reluctant to text her again because I don't want to come across like the stalker ex.
But for that short period of time, she really did make me happy. It's funny, for so long I've been depressed that I'd actually forgotten what it was like to be truly happy. But now she's gone I'm in a worse place than what I was before I met her, because, as a great man once said, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but fuck me it hurts.
So now I'm back on Match. My subscription runs out on Christmas Eve, and so far there's only one potential possibility on the horizon but I honestly don't know how it'll turn out. Everything seemed to be so easy with Debra... with anyone else it's so much hard work.
Peace out.
