This Is How It Goes

Okay. So me and this woman split up. Again, that's the long and short of it. She was supposed to come down on Friday night and instead I got a text dumping me. Which, in hindsight, is no bad thing, because I was starting to wonder where this relationship could actually go. You know, as I approach my thirties (and it is with some trepidation that I note that in just over six months I am going to be 28) I am starting to think about the future a lot. You know, settling down, maybe having kids - adult shit - and I had got myself thinking about what we could have, and there wasn't any of that. I couldn't even see us living together. Which was a big problem. A log term one as well, but still a big problem, one which would only get worse in time. So, by getting dumped, my decision has been made for me. So whoppee. Not that it hasn't left me annoyed, mainly due to the fact that this is the second time I've been dumped by text - doesn't anyone have manners anymore?

But, sadly, the story does not end there. Because she kept on texting me. Repeatedly. Sometimes in the middle of the night. I got a text on Tuesday night at two o'clock in the morning. She's made a mistake, she says. She wants to get back together. I recall what I told her when we first started seeing each other; I don't like people who play games with me. I've been headfucked enough in my life. I gave her another chance after that first time, when she'd stopped texting me and didn't come down even when she said she would. And she wants me to give her a further chance? After what she did?

Sorry, but no.

On a lighter front, I've been experiencing the peculiar delights of internet dating. You see, I joined this website, paid my cash and for about a month I never got a single reply. Until I showed Andrea the picture I had on the site. She said I looked like a nutter, took another picture and, the day after I was dumped, went online, winked at a few girls and, would you believe it, actually got a response!

So, I arranged to meet this girl - 26 years old, so a more realistic prospect than my last two relationships - and we did, we had coffee and went down the park with her twenty month old baby girl and I had a great time. I really did. I was dreading it at first, and there were a few awkward silences, but yes, a great time, and she said she enjoyed herself as well. And so I think we're going out next Wednesday as well. So... yeah, it feels good. I hate to admit it, but the mental health nurse might have been right, that what I needed to do was get out there and interact with people my own age, with similar interests. A good, healthy relationship, that's what I need. We'll see how it goes.

And I'm moving back home in eleven days. Again, it feels good, but also a little weird. I bought myself a travelcard in preparation (plus I was out with A on Wednesday, am going to an advance preview of Hellboy on Tuesday, will probably be out with A again next Wednesday so don't want to spend all my money on day bus tickets) and it's strange thinking I can just go out whenever I feel like it again. If I wanted, I could nip down Chester for an hour and not have to think, oh, hang on, I've gt to spend all this money on bus fare, it's not worth it just for an hour.

It'll be an adjustment, moving back to my mam's. It'll be strange having to get a bus to work again, but that's something I'm lookig forward to, because since I moved here, I've barely read any books because I only really used to read on the bus. So hopefully, once I'm back spending an hour or so of every day on a bus, I'll get through some serious bookage. Particularly Revelation Space, which I seem to have been reading for months. It's a cracking book, but it's very long.

It feels like it did when I moved out in February; like the end of an era, but a transitional phase which I just want to get over and done with. Mam's coming across tomorrow to take a few boxes over home, but at the minute, I just feel unsettled, because I'm anticipating the big change, yet I've still got time to wait...

Peace out.